Ironically enough, if you could take the best of those women and the best of those men, and place them in a big room where they could sit at a table and ask each other questions in person – you’d probably have 4 or 5 new match-ups by the end of the night. All they have to do is get online every day, sitting on their princess throne and file through the dozens or more profiles of men who have messaged them throughout the day.
The problem with online dating is that you can’t see the person’s face when they’re telling you about themselves. I think it’s hard for guys to comprehend the world of online dating from a woman’s perspective. They then flippantly toss out all of those well thought out, carefully crafted messages from most of those poor schmucks, and then they log onto their Facebook accounts to complain to their girlfriends that there are no “good men” left in the world.
Women are frequently more reciprocative, but men often seem me, by having nice shit, or looking good, or pulling in bank. I’ve dated a few guys who want kids, so I’ve devoted some time pondering what men who want kids need.
But, they almost never take a look at my life and ask themselves “what is Emma missing, and how could I fill that role? And, I dunno, maybe it’s like, co-dependent of me or something, but when I don’t do it my relationships don’t work. It’s probably all going to go to waste when I have a kid on my own, but maybe someone will find some of it useful: Like, I know I said some bleak shit about men ever getting to have kids, but I also feel like if you devote any conscious effort in this direction whatsoever, you’ll be ahead of 90% of men. That said, I’ve devoted a lot of time and energy to the problem of dating, and I’m still single, so you know.
I had a like, 3 year stint of dating basically only women in San Francisco, and not a lot of SF lesbians are super sold on the idea of kids (probably because SF is so expensive and because babies are not a byproduct of lesbian sex.)So, I was like, ah-ha! In a Guardian article, Laurie Penny concisely expressed some of my current frustrations: I’m consistently taken aback by the number of men my age and older who speak offhandedly about their “future children”, without having planned in the slightest for the arrival of these notional sprogs — simply assuming that it’ll happen someday, when they’ve had time to dedicate themselves to their life’s work.
Something like 80% of men say they want kids vs 70% of women. Except like, maybe the memo hasn’t gotten around about this child-desiring imbalance?
Which is why it’s that the men I date are totally checked out on this front.
I mean, ok I know men don’t have as sharp a biological clock as women do, but a) they do have one, and b) if you can’t get a hot 20 year old babe in your 20s or 30s, why do you think it’ll be easier in your 50s?
I couldn’t find any statistics for the US, but in Norway about 25% of men never have kids while percentage of childless women is much lower.
Historically, nearly always a higher percentage of women have kids than men do.
Okay, it’s time to have an open and frank discussion about the battle of the sexes and the dating game.
It’s far too complex, scary and difficult for mere mortals – so let’s bridge the gap by asking both men and women what doesn’t work when it comes to online dating Dating has gone digital.
However, one thing that bugs me about being a single mother, weirdly, is concern for these childish men. I remember, when I was breaking up with one of my exes years ago, he listed all the ways I made his life better when trying to convince me not to go. When I’m with women, I read about health issues that effect lesbian demographics (higher rates of breast cancer, obesity, and depression.) When I’m with men, I read about health issues that effect straight men (coronary issues, blood pressure, and emotional issues esp.