My inability to let go of my imperfection meant I missed a lot of important information.Now, I let myself have whatever terrible first draft may be needed and recognize that’s the first step to getting better.Instead, I’d do what I thought they wanted and feel resentful for it.
I had such a ninja talent for discerning and then delivering what other people wanted that most of the time I didn’t even realize I was doing it.
I’d agree to do things that didn’t interest me, or didn’t have time for, and end up stressed and angry.
Worse, falling short of perfection (which was always) led to an internal berating.
When I started to be kinder to myself, I realized just how hard it had been to hear anything over the sound of my own voice yelling at me.
So here’s some patterns that bit-by-bit, I work on breaking every day. People pleasing, over-responsibility, and having no boundaries I know, I know: that’s three things!
But bear with me—I grouped these together because they all stem from the same source: a compulsive need to be liked.
I’d find myself instantly agreeing with things I didn’t, and I’d hold back to avoid conflict.
Almost all of this came from my fear of abandonment and a desperate need to keep people in my life, regardless of whether they were healthy for me.
So now I own up to the things I want, and let others have their feelings—regardless of how angry they may be.
It’s not my job to protect people who aren’t asking for it. Avoiding new situations For years, I’ve avoided new situations, or kept them to a minimum as much as is actually possible.
Seeing myself as a victim Before recovery, I saw myself as the perpetual victim, always at the mercy of other people’s inconsideration.