How you present yourself online can either be attractive, or unattractive.
Much like in person, we are only given a few moments to make a decision about someone.
A well written profile can save you a lot of time from dealing with lukewarm connections, bad dates, and awkward conversation.
----- As a coach, I encourage women to "know their brand" of femininity.
I am not going back to look at the 100 men who claim they "want to meet me." I will respond to men who actually take the time to write more than "Hi," and introduce themselves as possible suitors.
Stop taking half-naked photos of yourself in the bathroom mirror. And seeing a toilet, dirty shower, and you standing in a 4' x 6' box is mos def not a turn on. Your profile should not have a disclaimer about what you don't want.
Now, if you're laid out in a hot tub in a beautiful bathroom with a view of the ocean behind it, that's a different story. For goodness sake, what kind of lazy introduction is that? Taking pix of yourself on the way to being drunk off your ass is not inspiring. You might be God's gift to the party girl, but how are you with a real woman, outside the bar? Do you really want to see all the men I've been with before? If you find yourself listing the faults of all your exes, get counseling or coaching. And chances are, you've been the source of all that drama you claim you don't want. Please have photos that were taken at least within the past year or two.
Look, we do want to see your hot bod, but get a friend to take a few pix at the gym or a sporting event. We really don't want to think about what went on in there before or after you took the picture. Write more than a paragraph if you actually want a date. But if you check the box "wants a relationship" and then don't take the time and effort to write a decent profile, the message we receive is: "I'm looking for a hookup" and "I use love to get sex." Actually, that last part is giving you too much credit -- it would require self-awareness. Sure, it works at a party; we're face-to-face, making eye contact. Take off your sunglasses and let us see the real you. We're not in college anymore and this isn't a frat. Stop putting up pix of you with the gaggle of girls you were hanging out with during your drunken escapades. Hey, let's face it: You're the consistent factor in all your relationships. There's nothing worse than showing up and discovering that I can't even recognize you in the restaurant.
We can feel or not feel the chemistry, and usually go right into a conversation about what's happening where we are. With just "Hi," I have to assume you're disinterested, bored, or simply inarticulate.
This one of the top complaints I hear from women when it comes to online dating.
Taking the time to write a good profile will help you increase your odds of getting a match who is right for you, and having a great first date.
Don't "favorite me," "want to meet me," or "like" my profile. Just because sites have those options doesn't mean you have to use them. Tell me you liked what you saw and read, and make a connection.
by messages from hopeful (sometimes desperate) men - so much so that the average pretty girl with options doesn't last longer than a few weeks on the site before throwing her hands up in frustration and resignation and abandoning her account. Grizzled POF dating veterans who cut through newbie online dating hopefuls like female paramilitary troopers trained at mercilessly crushing and cannibalizing the unready and unprepared.
Certainly not mine, and according to the women in my circles, not theirs either.