Not only will others feel the unnaturalness of their pose, but the stress and strain of keeping up the act only serves to wear them down faster, leaving them drained and upset… Not everybody is built to be a club-hopping player – and yet that’s what PUA culture directs men towards.Not everybody is cut out for traditional monogamy, for polyamory, for kink, for vanilla sex…
but that doesn’t stop them from trying to force themselves into the model because they Trying to fit into a personality type that’s so diametrically opposed from our real self is like trying to force yourself into shoes that don’t fit; you’re uncomfortable at best and the potential benefits are vastly outweighed by downsides.
When you’re trying to build the life you’ve always dreamed of, you need to do so in a way that’s harmonious with who you , not for who you think you’re should be.
In short: your own desires are sabotaging your efforts to slake them.
As paradoxical as it may seem, you will never have better success at getting laid or finding a relationship by had it right: you get laid more by not trying.
You’re not getting any responses from your online dating profile. Over the years I’ve seen these issues crop up again and again; I’ve seen them in friends, in the letters I’ve gotten as Dr.
and until I took the time to recognize this and actually address these issues, I was going to get better.
They could be swapped out for the nearest stranger.
Nobody likes feeling like an interchangeable, anonymous cog, easily replaceable and ultimately unmemorable.
If you believe no woman could possibly find you attractive, you will elide over all evidence to the contrary – women flirting with you, giving you the “come-hither” stare or even just smiling at you – and focus like a laser on every incidence of negativity.
You will see every interaction in the worst possible light: “she doesn’t like me, she’s clearly repulsed by me, she’s only being polite, I’m misreading the signals” This apparently unending stream of reinforcement will only serves to perpetuate a vicious cycle; your self-limiting beliefs cause you to overlook evidence to the contrary, thus reinforcing the belief which, in turn, continues to make it impossible to see the truth. Believing in yourself – that you’re attractive, that you have a lot to offer others, that you can you.
I was sabotaging myself in a number of ways that I didn’t even realize…